Thinking Over
by Shinra'sCrazyTurk
Summary: Naruto decides that he has had enough of the torment in his life. Oneshot Songfic. Rated for suicide.


Disclaimer: I don't own naruto

**Disclaimer:** I don't own naruto...If I did Sasuke would be dead (I've hated him since he killed Itachi in the manga) and Naruto would be with Itachi. Yeah...

AN: OMG! I wrote this in 2005 and I just found it again. I decided to post it and take a break from writing my other naruto fic "Moonstruck: Uchiha Itachi Story". The next chapter just doesn't want to write...gah!

**"THINKING OVER"**

It was a nice day out, not too hot, with a cool breeze. However, It was only a nice day for anyone other than Naruto Uzumaki. The young blond wearily made his way to his home, not even looking where he was going most of the time. He was exhausted in every sense of the word, but mostly just emotionally tapped out.

_**I've been searching for a reason  
And I'm running out of time**  
_

Unseen tears glistened in the sunlight, slowly making their way down the boy's whiskered face, for the last time he assured himself. As he made his way through the village his smile faded and his face went blank, devoid of all emotion, for he could feel nothing but emptiness anymore, or so it seemed.

_**I can feel that it's the season  
It's time to make up my mind**_

If he noticed some of the other villagers worried looks he didn't show it, he just kept on walking. His destination clear in is mind but the outcome of his actions still undecided. His blue eyes were clouded over and held no light in them_. 'What am I going to do... especially after what just happened…why does my life have to be so complicated...?'_

_**And I can't really tell you what I'm gonna do  
There are so many thoughts in my head**_

He stumbled over something in the street and heard the villagers around him laugh. _'Why can't they just shut up for once?' _He let out a burst of speed and rushed to the place he called home. Colorless eyes watched him go with a frown. When he got home he shut the well rusted door behind him, not bothering to lock it. _'I hate this place...almost as much as I hate it out there...'_

_**There are two roads to walk down and one road to choose**__  
_

He walked slowly over to his dresser where he kept his cloths and such. With a sigh he opened the third draw and pulled out a kunai that had a reddish brown substance dried on its edges. He pulled up his sleeves and stared at his arms for a moment. "What am I doing?" he muttered. He forcefully threw the kunai across the room, it landed with a clank in his kitchen.

_**So I'm thinking over the things that you've said**_

_**Thinking over the things...  
**_

He sat down, closed his eyes and put his head against the wall. "Maybe I should think things over before I do something stupid..." His own statement seemed to surprise him. _'Like what I have been doing with that kunai for the past six years wasn't stupid enough... people would miss me if I died... Iruka would, but others..'_

_**I'm thinking over  
Thinking over  
Thinking over **_

_He thought of some of the good points of his life:_

'Congratulations, you graduate!'

'Team 7: Haruno Sakura, Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke.'

'You're late!'

'You, pass!'

'I will become the greatest hokage ever! Believe it!'

'I will never back down from a fight again!'

'Nice work, dobe'

'Come on, I'll treat you to ramen!'

_**The things that you've said  
And I'm thinking over  
Thinking over  
Thinking over the things...**__  
_

_And of the bad...:_

'The only thing you will be buying here is that orange jumpsuit!'

'Such a disgusting little thing, aren't you'

'You deserve to die!'

'Monster!'

'Dobe'

'Don't you want to know my name too?' 'NO'

'Dead last'

'You can never become a hokage with that thing in you!'

'How could I ever love such a monster?' 

_**Am I ready for forever?  
Oh, God, show me a sign  
'Cause if we're to be together  
Then it's got to be divine**_

He realized that he was crying again but couldn't manage to spare enough emotion to care anymore. _'I could just be thinking too long on the bad stuff. It's not like I have a horrible life...' _He jumped slightly as he heard a voice from outside his tiny home. "I hope you die you piece of trash! You're a danger to this village! A monster!" a second later his window was broken by a few rocks slamming into it.

_**And I can't really tell you what I'm gonna do  
There are so many thoughts in my head**_

"Who am I kidding... my life sucks... Who would want to be me...?" he let his head drop back to the wall. He squeezed his eyes shut, maybe if he couldn't see the mess in front of him it would disappear and cease to exist. He reopened his eyes and the broken glass and rocks were still there, as was the kunai lying on the kitchen floor...

_**There are two roads to walk down and one road to choose  
So I'm thinking over the things that you've said  
Thinking over the things...**_

_'They were right...I'll never become hokage, not when the villagers despise me so much...' _He got up and carefully avoided the broken shards on the floor. He made his way to his kitchen trying to get that last thought to leave his mind. _'I can't keep living like this...'_ he bent down and retrieved the kunai with trembling hands. Moving further back into the apartment he untied his headband and left it lying on the kitchen table. Sitting down heavily he poised the knife above this wrist. "Dreaming of becoming hokage was ... Was just that, a dream...kyuubi... don't heal me this time..."

_**I'm thinking over  
Thinking over  
Thinking over  
The things that you've said**_

A pink haired shinobi walked down the busy streets just as silently as the person she was following. Sasuke. He was going to apologize to Naruto, something he never did. But considering just how bad of a fight the three of them had gotten into, it was the least he...no, they could do.

_'I never should have said those horrible things to naruto... It was uncalled for...I guess I should be nicer to him...'_ she sighed. It was not something she ever really thought about, but the look on naruto's face had been of complete heartbreak. _'I guess Sasuke-kun feels the same... He looks worried though...' _

She bit her lips and looked at her hands. _'Why should he be worried, Naruto always forgives us no matter what we do...'_ the little voice in the back of her head told her that that was exactly the problem. The picture of the blond boys face popped up in her mind. His hair tussled by the wind, blood on his lips, and the saddest look she had ever seen gracing his once smiling features. She grimaced, had they really done that to him. Had they really taken the boys smile...?

She kept on walking silently, trying to ignore the bad feeling in her gut.

_**And I'm thinking over  
Thinking over  
Thinking over the things...**_

_**  
**__'What have we done...what have I done... That stupid bitch got me so riled up that I took it all out on Naruto...' _he sighed and ignored a worried look from sakura. She was the last person that he EVER wanted to be around right now. He closed his eyes for a second only to come up with naruto's face. He never wanted to see that look on the blonds' face again, ever. To think that he had caused this... made his heart ache. He thought back to what hinata had told him earlier as he was starting his journey over to naruto's.

-flashback-

"S-Sasuke!" the timid white eyed hyuuga called to him, wearing a troubled look.

_'This I just what i need right now, more problems!'_ Sasuke thought angrily. His face, however, remained expressionless.

"I know t-that you a-are teammates w-with Naruto-k-kun so I... "she stopped and bit her lip as if trying to decide weather or not she should tell him.

"Hinata-chan? What about Naruto?" Sakura, who was still following Sasuke, asked. For once Sasuke thanked sakura for speaking.

"I thought y-you might want to k-know that he looked t-terribly de-pressed when h-he was walking by a l-little while a-ago..." she finished in a rush of words. She looked down at her hands, that were trying to burry themselves in the fabric they held, and she spoke again.

"I though t-that you would l-like to know...that m-maybe you w-would help h-him..." Sasuke barely heard the whispered words but somehow knew that they were directed at him and only him. He nodded before walking off, albeit with a quicker pace than before.

-end flashback-

_'I hope that idiot doesn't do something... stupid...'_

_**He wants to marry me  
Carry me far away  
He wants to love me for life  
He wants to be with me **_

Pale fingertips slowly caressed the well worn kunai handle. His emotions flooding through him like a ravenous flood. _'I always thought of Sasuke as a friend... no matter what...'_ Naruto remembered the fight at the valley of the end and just how close he had come to dying. How close Sasuke had come to killing him. When Sasuke had left it had nearly broken him but he had stayed strong and vowed to bring the bastard back no matter what. And he had. But things hadn't gone back to normal. No, things had only gotten worse. Sasuke hadn't wanted to come back and had made it known almost every time naruto had tried to talk with him. _'Had I really been so naive to think everything would go back to the way it was?' _

_**Every morning I awake  
He wants to hold me through the night**_

_'I wish that you felt the same...but that's why it's a wish.'_ blue eyes began to droop and a tiny smile crossed the blonds face. _'Thanks Kyuubi.' _his felt his stomach twinge and that was the only reply from the demon fox he received. His arm was numb where he had sliced the vein open from his wrist to his elbow. At first it had burned but now he felt nothing. He felt so tired and everything was getting sluggish. It was hard for him just to keep his head up. _'It's so cold...'___

_**Father, which way should I go?  
I cannot clearly see  
Oh, I love him so  
But only you know if he's the one for me  
**_

"Today is such a great day isn't it?" an old woman said to a friend in passing. "Yes it is. We haven't had to see that orange monstrosity at all!" Sasuke and sakura looked at one another.

"Did they mean naruto?" Sakura gasped. "You threw rocks into his apartment? Good thinking!" a middle aged man said to his son who wasn't much younger then Sasuke and sakura. "I heard him whimper. He really is pathetic. Stupid Demon." they laughed and walked on past.

"Sasuke lets hurry." Sasuke nodded and he and sakura walked quicker. Sakura wore a worried expression. _'Maybe we're wrong about them and they aren't talking about Naruto...but the orange comment...' ___

_**  
Thinking over  
The things that you've said  
I'm thinking over  
**_

Sasuke flung naruto' apartment door wide open but quickly froze in his tracks. Sakura screamed. Naruto was sitting propped up against the wall with blood surrounding him. From his wrist to his elbow was cut open and a blood kunai lay next to him. "Sakura go get Kakashi!" sakura nodded with tears in her eyes and ran to get help. Sasuke gently pulled naruto's prone body into his arms letting out a small gasp when naruto opened his blurry eyes. "S-Sasuke?" a thin trail of blood slipped past naruto's lips. "Dobe what the hell were you thinking!" Sasuke growled and tried to make the wound on the blond boys arm stop bleed, with little success.

"No one will miss me so it doesn't matter..." his voice was so quiet Sasuke almost didn't hear him."Iruka and Tsunade will miss you, dobe. I'll miss you!" naruto weakly lifted his head to look at Sasuke. "But you said-"

"Forget what I said, I didn't mean any of it!" he stared into the pools of blue as naruto coughed tiredly. "I forgive you Sasuke. I'll always forgive you." Sasuke's heart clenched. What had he done to deserve the boys trust so easily? Naruto felt his eyes closing again and his breathing slowed dangerously. "Sasuke...I love you."

_**Thinking over  
Only you know if he's the one for me  
**_

"I should have done this sooner. It probably wouldn't be so painful to leave you if I had..." Sasuke was speechless for a moment. "You love me? Then why...?" naruto laughed feebly. "Because you _don't_ love me."

"You're wrong…so wrong!" Naruto's lips twitched upwards slightly before falling slack. Sasuke looked at naruto in shock as his eyes completely closed. "Naruto?" there was no answer. "Naruto?!" he shook the boy lying in his arms but the blue eyes didn't open again. Checking for a pulse the breath froze in his lungs. Naruto was no longer breathing.

_**I cant really tell you  
What I'm gonna do  
**_

Kakashi followed by sakura, walked through the entrance of Naruto's apartment and immediately knew it was too late. Sasuke had naruto's body in his arms and was sobbing none too quietly into his chest. The agony in his voice made sakura drop to her knees and stare wide eyed at him. "Sasuke." Kakashi said quietly.

_**There are so many thoughts in my head  
There are two roads to walk down**_

Tsunade was immediately informed of Naruto's 'death', the result had been expected. She had burst into tears and mumbled something about a cursed necklace; too caught up in her own grief she hadn't even asked about Sasuke's obvious absence from the small group that was there informing her. Sasuke on the other hand was back at his house numbly walking through his kitchen with naruto's blood still on his shirt. After Kakashi had gotten him clamed down and away from naruto's corpse he had told his sensei he was going home. Naturally his teacher had protested but Sasuke had ignored him.

Tears leaked out of the corners of Sasuke's eyes but he didn't notice.

_**And one road to choose**_

_**  
**_Sasuke stood silently on top of the Yondaime Hokage's head looking out at the sun. He remembered one time that he and Naruto had sat up there after sparing. Naruto had told him that he had always wondered what it felt like to fly, to be free of everything and just float through the air. Sasuke had called him an idiot and neither of them had spoken of it since but Sasuke had never forgotten it. Turning his back to the sun Sasuke took a step closer to the edge. Closing his eyes and spreading his arms wide, Sasuke let himself fall from the hokage monument.

"You were right dobe, it feels...free." he took a deep breath and let Naruto's image cross him mind, the wind ruffled his hair and he smiled. There was a wet 'crunch' when his body hit the ground; blood and gore splattered the ground surrounding him.

Kakashi had gone straight from Tsunade's office to Sasuke's house to check on him. Sasuke had been a little more then messed up when he had left to go inform the hokage of what had happened. He didn't bother knocking as the door was slightly ajar. He couldn't feel Sasuke's chakra signature anywhere in the house and became a little worried when he walked into the kitchen and noticed a large white envelope on the table. Carefully opening it his eye widened as he read the contents...

Tsunade looked up teary eyed from her desk and noted Kakashi's pale complexion, and the letter he had gripped tightly in his hand.

_**So I'm thinking over  
The things that you've said**_

The funeral for both of them had been held two days later and surprisingly a lot of people had come not just for Sasuke, but for naruto as well. Sakura was a complete mess after having both of her teammates kill themselves and Tsunade had people watching her to make sure there wasn't a third grave added so soon.

Kakashi wondered if there could have been anything done to stop the tragedy. _'Perhaps paying more attention to all of them when Sasuke returned would have made a difference.' _The sky opened up and the clouds that had been hanging ominously overhead the whole time spilled rain down on the funeral goers.

_**Thinking over  
Thinking over  
**_

Tsunade had decided that theirs graves would be next to each other seeing as their deaths were related. Or so she said anyway. None of the public even dared to say anything about her choice knowing how close she had been to naruto. "I really hope things are better for the both of you on the other side..." Tsunade cried softly before leaving the graves to go drink away her sorrows.

A dark shadow looked over the two graves with a quiet sigh. The figure placed a flower on each grave before leaving. "Foolish brother."


End file.
